Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Nefarious Noah

This post is dedicated to those of you who see Noah's angelic little face in photos and don't know the devilish thoughts lurking behind that cherubic visage like we do.

So you remember how we took Noah's crib out long before I was truly ready, because he was kicking it for hours every night and driving me insane?

And how then we had to take his radiator off the wall because he was taking it off himself??

And how we had to take his wardrobe out because he kept taking the knobs off, and then opening and slamming the door repeatedly, to the point that the corner of the wardrobe door left marks on the paneling upstairs? (I don't think I posted on the blog about the door slamming, but rest assured, it happened. The wardrobe was taking up space in my "closet room" until I rearranged some furniture this week to make room for it out on the landing instead.)

His latest exploits involve lights.

You may remember that we found this adorable light for him one time at a secondhand shop.

But he's been wanting to sleep with the light on all night for months. His Ikea Spöka light doesn't work anymore because someone (not sure which of the monsters, none has confessed) somehow destroyed the AC adapter, so it can't recharge anymore.

I don't care for his light being on all night long, it's too bright and in my mind, not conducive to good sleep. I figure if it's darker, he'll sleep longer. That opinion seems to be based in no scientific fact whatsoever when it comes to Noah, yet I can't let go of it.

So we went to Ikea to get another Spöka light for him. He decided he didn't want one, he wanted a star light like this instead. It was cheaper, so who were we to argue?

This light is screwed into the wall, and the cord hangs down and plugs into an outlet.

The first day, Frédéric found Noah with the cord unplugged, and the end of it in his mouth.

The second day, I found him with it wrapped around his neck!

Clearly THAT couldn't be allowed to continue, so Frédéric found some little plastic thingamajigs that have a nail on one side, and we attached the cord to the wall with those, and secured the extra length at the end near the outlet with a rubber band.

The first day, Noah took off the rubber band. I put it back on and warned him not to touch it again.

The second day, he had managed to pull the cord OUT of the plastic dealies without breaking them or pulling them away from the wall.

So we took down the star light, and let him have the airplane light on again.

A few days ago, we decided to attempt the star light again, this time alternating the direction of the plastic things (as the nail is only on one side), and nailing more of them into the baseboard to keep the extra length secured at the bottom.

The first day, he managed to pull it all right out of the plastic doohickeys, alternating directions be darned. Don't ask me how.

Frédéric thought he could modify the lamp to plug directly into his light switch. Since we had a similar moon light that had already been altered, I suggested he try on that one instead of the new star one.

So he did. He insulated the adapter that is inside the light, on the off chance (off chance?! Ha!) that Noah might manage to get his fingers in there, and put a ton of glue on and around the remaining bit of cord, in the hopes that Noah won't managed to pull IT off the wall too.

So far so good, but it's only been a few days.

Please note that Benjamin got a matching star light, and has had no trouble not touching it other than to turn it on or off.

Is it really any wonder I'm about to lose my mind with this child?
72 days til school starts for him!


Jordan said...

Now now. Quit making up stories to make Noah sound like trouble. We all know that's not true. ;)

Trevor and Kayla Keele said...

One mom I know (who loves her children dearly) quoted to me once, "If the first one had been like the second one, the second one would never have been born." Hm. Half the kids in my class this year are angelic, adorable second children :-P